Thursday, June 19, 2008

For Release: Barack Obama Campaign Denials

Christopher Beam offers amusing advice to the Obama campaign, suggesting a strategy to deal with rumors via their website. Read it on SLATE here.

But Beam has it all wrong. The most effective way to disseminate new myths about a candidate is not by advancing them, but by DENYING them.

So, with a hat-tip to the aforementioned, here are THE MAIN POINT’s statements for release concerning Democrat Party candidate:

From: [Redacted]
To: [Redacted]

We’d like to clarify some recent speculation about candidate Barack Obama.

Barack Obama does not wear his FLAG PIN even in the shower.

There is no tape in our possession of Michelle Obama saying the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE at a conference on PATRIOTISM.

Barack and Michelle do not take their daughters HUNTING every weekend.

Barack Obama does not have the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach

FRANCIS SCOTT KEY is not the only artist on Barack Obama's iPod.

Barack Obama has not memorized The BIBLE.

Barack Obama does not go to CHURCH every day.

Barack Obama's new airplane includes a conference table, a kitchenette, but it does not include a CHAPEL.

Barack Obama does not own a BASEBALL TEAM.

Barack Obama is not licensed to drive a SIXTEEN-WHEELER.

1 comment:

NewsCat said...

My friend read the Slate piece and decided it needed 100% more patriotism.